Remembering Nitai...

On Wednesday, January 31, 2012, while walking out of my Sacred Geographies graduate seminar, I first heard the news that Nitai had been killed in a car accident the night previous. My heart sunk. I became disoriented. I thought, I should go to Krishna Lunch and tell the devotees. I began walking towards the plaza but realized that Krishna Lunch had ended two hours ago. Confused, I instead jumped on the bus and found myself sobbing uncontrollably to the point of gasping for air by the time I walked back to my apartment.

Over the next few days, as I thought about the friendship I shared with Nitai during the past seven years, the more it become evident to me that Nitai has shaped my life in extraordinary ways. The amazing thing is that this picture (see above) seems to have captured my first encounter with Nitai. This photo was taken in 2005 at the National Rainbow Gathering in West Virginia. You can see Nitai there, sitting down and serving prasadam out of a cardboard box. And myself? Well, let's just say I've always had an affinity for green tutus. It was at this rainbow gathering that I began having extensive conversations with the devotees. One year later, I moved into a women's ashram at ISKCON New Vrindavan in West Virginia in order to be closer to my new friends. I think this rainbow gathering was the first festival that Nitai ever organized.

Fast forward two years later. It's August 2007 and I'm stranded in Seattle, staying with old college friends after spontaneously choosing to leave Malati Prabhu's travelling sankirtan party. Several days later, feeling the gravity of my mistake and praying to Krishna to again reward me with the company of His devotees, I suddenly receive a phone call. "Hey, what's going on?" said Nitai in his dry monotone voice. He proceeds to tell me that he's on his way to Burning Man to set up Krishna Camp, that he's driving through Seattle, and that I should come with them. Two hours later, Nitai and Gadadhara pick me up in a huge U-Haul packed to the brim and off we go to Black Rock City, Nevada.

We drove all night. We drove all day. In the meantime, I realized that I was completely unprepared to spend the next week in a desert. All I had was a couple of saris, a pair of flip flops, and a trucker hat. Nitai decided we would stop at an army surplus store so I could pick up some clothes and he could buy some gas masks for the crew in preparation of the legendary, afternoon dust storms that take over the playa at Burning Man.

Eventually we arrived and began to set up camp. This, of course, was the second year Nitai had organized Krishna Camp at the Burning Man Festival. In the three subsequent years, Krishna Camp evolved into Krishna Kitchen and became the largest kitchen at the Burning Man Festival, responsible for feeding the leading organizers, staff members, VIPs, and artists of the event.

This was the first time I saw Nitai in high gear, the gear he liked best. The more intensity, the better. Sporting a cowboy hat, sunglasses, and beige crocs with a cell phone that never left his ear, Nitai went to work and I was thrilled to be part of his crew.

And so I worked my butt off, cooking, cleaning, serving, and chanting for one week straight and I can honestly say it was one of the most fun weeks in my entire life. I was dirty, exhausted, tired, and sunburnt, yet I was in ecstasy (because serving others who are on ecstasy is infinitely more rewarding than the synthetic experience of actually being on ecstasy).



At the Festival of Inspiration 2009, Nitai, Balaram Candra, Caitanya, Gauranga Kisore, Lacie and I were reunited, each having gone separate ways after our ashram days spent together at New Vrindavan. Because of their endeavors to organize Krishna Camp at the National Rainbow Gathering in 2005 and 2006, I had a chance to gain their friendship, indulge in Newman-O halava, wash Krishna's pots, and dance in kirtan. I remember thinking that these people were the coolest people I had ever met.



Over the years, although I was not able to return to Burning Man, I was fortunate enough to participate in several other festivals that Nitai began organizing. Each one was a transcendental adventure. The Mystic Garden Party in 2010 (pictured above) was no exception. That year Nitai introduced Thai coconuts to the menu, which soon became a big hit wherever Krishna Kitchen was set up. Kuva, Hari, Mahalaxmi, Govinda, Bhava, Mandali & crew rocked the kitchen as usual and hundreds of people left the festival with bellies full of Krishna prasadam.



So many stories, so many freakin' hilarious stories, so much fun, so much devotion, so much charity, so much sacrifice, so much work, so many arguments, so much driving, so many coconuts, so many samosas...this was what it meant to be part of Nitai's festival crew. The crazy thing is that Nitai was just getting started. Krishna Kitchen was just beginning to find its niche. For years he had been building contacts, networking with festival organizers and building strong relationships with everyone he worked with. Thanks to Nitai, Krishna has returned to pop culture and has become part of the collective consciousness of America's Generation X.



I last spoke to Nitai on December 30, 2011. I always looked forward to Nitai's phone calls. He would usually call every few months to tell me about what was going on, how the last festival went, which celebrities he fed, the next festival he was organizing, an update on Burning Man, news from Radhanatha Swami, and to ask if I could come help. During our last phone conversation, he shared with me some of his experiences with Radhanatha Swami at the Bhakti Festival this year. He explained that Radhanatha Swami arrived at the festival with a case of shingles and Nitai nursed him back to health. Generally Radhanatha Swami does not accept service from others, but due to his inability to reach his back to apply the medicine, Nitai explained that he was given special mercy to assist Radhanatha Swami in such an intimate way.

The conversation ended with a discussion of Nitai's plans to organize Krishna Kitchen at a big festival in Costa Rica this spring and him asking me if I could come down with them. I told him I would have to get back to him, not knowing what week my spring break would fall on. All I can say is that Nitai was no ordinary man. He was empowered by guru and Krishna, and Nitai meant business. I loved his straightforward manner of communicating with others, his monotone voice, his humor, his humility, his confidence, his dedication, his drive and his undying determination to give Krishna to others. May I again meet you in Samosaville, Nitai das. I owe you.